Friday, April 24, 2009

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

(and it's ALL small stuff!)
And above all remember . . .
Girlie Wisdom!
1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control-pills.. She has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does. AMEN!!!
6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my sweat pants.
10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
Have a Blessed Day!
For more laughs and fun visit Kim.


The Real Me! said...

I am laughing so hard at those. I had never heard those and I really need to send those on to a few of my friends. LOL.
Thank you for sharing today.
BIG Friday Hugs to you.

Saleslady371 said...

Too darn funny, girlfriend. I love the one about the sweat pants. Have a great Friday.

Cascia said...

That list is cute! I needed a good laugh this morning. Have a wonderful weekend!

Christina said...

Oh my gosh these were so funny. I really think #11 is my favorite.

Michele Williams said...

I love those!!! Thanks for sharing. Blessings...

Laurie Ann said...

Too funny! Especially the fire one!

Susan said...

Oh wow, these were ALL GREAT. Sad to say I identified with way too many of them.

Thanks for the laugh today, or should I be crying?


Grammy said...

Those were great! Thanks for the laugh.

Sharon Brumfield said...

I had to laugh at number 2.
The other day we stopoed in at a country store. They were running a special on their homemade chocolate.

The sign a pound and get a half pound free.

I snorted and said....More like...Buy a pound get 10 for free!
And yes, I did snort! :)

Kimberly said...

I laghed out loud about the sweet pants catching on fire! :) Too, too funny, Darlene!

Have a super weekend!

Denise said...

Ok, I am laughing so hard, I may pee. lol

Melanie said...

LOL... a great list of laughter!

e-Mom said...

Lol, this is good advice! 4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes. Blessings to you. :~D

Meredith said...

The sweat pants one really sent me over......thanks for the good laugh this morning. Only those of us who know what that feels like would think that was funny!!

Alene said...

I needed a laugh today! Thanks. Cute stuff.

Omah's Helping Hands said...

Oh my gosh, these are good. I'm going to have to remember some of them to use as excuses. ;) Thanks for the laughs. Great way to start a day!!!